-Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaete Yuku | Kalafina | Kara no Kyoukai ED2-
“Mezameta asa ni wa namida ga
Houseki no you ni ochiteku
Mirai no naka he”
Up until now, I don’t believe in ‘Friendship last forever’ or something similar to that.
It’s not that I’m an emo or an anti social (although I sometimes isolated myself from my surroundings just to think
) but… simply because I know how does it feel to be betrayed. Since I was in elementary school. Ok, now stop being mellow and get straight to the topic, Luna.
It’s a lame, old, dusty, and boring stories. The reason why this blog name changed into ‘Bitter Chocolate’ and I stopped writing my first-ever daily life story.
I believe that I had told this story a long time ago. So I won’t repeat it I said.
I just still hope that even if she thought that what she did was innocent, I just want her to know that the one here has to wear another mask again. And, it’s damn tiring..
So, this’s merely my opinion.
Friendship won’t last forever. If I said this specifically, your group won’t last forever. Some friendship truly last forever, but they met certain conditions, like… no groupings and no taking self-advantages over others and so on. But what happen in our kind of friendship, in High School, especially in Indonesia, isn’t something I consider as… a true friendship. They tend to be something that could make you exist, makes you popular and famous.
What I want to say that almost all teenagers in Indonesia, high-schooler I might said, especially in private school, form a possessive form of a friendship. They tend to make a private group, which only ‘friends’ allowed. I’m not going to say that this is forbidden or very bad or something like that. But in my point of view, this kind of friendship, where there’s a patron and follower, or something like that (that’s sarcastic, FYI), can break easily, although to maintain the bond between them, it’s pretty easy.
How can you keep the bond between your group members?
By forbid every single of them to have another close friend, of course. Keep in touch with them, use them, forbid every single of your friend to have another close friend except your group members, open up your and your friends’ secrets among them, start gossipping everyone you dislike, although you heard only rumours about them, have lunch together, pull your boyfriend or girlfriend into the group etc etc etc. There’s a lot more way to keep your mates in group than to keep a close relationship with someone who’s far from you.The result? Your group may keep going smoothly until you graduate from High School, and then, the bond will automatically breaks as every single of them starts their own college life.
Oh, except if all of the group enroll the same colleges and the same major. I hardly think that there’ll be any though.
The consequences? They’ll be isolated from the outer world and from their own friends. Their network will revolved .around their groups, (this maybe the same for loner and introverted-type people, maybe worse
) And in the process to strengthen the bond among them, someone will surely get hurt. For sure.
The experience of being ignored, hurted, and betrayed (in my POV) are maybe the most painful experince I’ve ever had in my high school life. But then, I realized that those experience had taught me the most, even more than any social experience I’ve gone through. It taught me how to overcome pain and sadness, how to conceals my thoughts and idea, how to see people through their face, their expression, especially smiles, and their everyday behavior, and more importantly, a lesson that I will remember for the rest of my life. Never trust other easily, especially those who can’t understand you, those who have never through loneliness, and those who have a tendencies to stick to their own friends. Because someday, they’ll speak out your secrets. Beware of fake smiles and sweet words!
I won’t blame or say something bad about people who can’t stand loneliness. I know that only few of them can stand being all alone. Maybe even no one. They have at least a friend. But please, if you can’t stand being lonely, why not try to understand those who have been alone in your sight? Fine, they might look cold, but it’s just their “defensive” position, not because they don’t want to be friend with you or what. An Ice barrier is a good one to filter friends. Those who can penetrate the coldness and get inside the wall will get their sweet side.
But people like this have bad tendencies. They tend to be possessive and introvert, sometimes even jealousy =_____=;;
And sadly, people like these often to be a victim of things-I’ve-said-before. In the end, they have to accept the fact that they’re disliked, thrown (maybe), isolated, being gossipped, and so on.
Although that, they might looks fine with their surroundings and people around them. Well, I’m not going to tell you how can they do that, since one’s way is different with another. As for me, the way to look fine and keep going is rather hard and painful, although it’s been proofed to mean a lot of help in many situations.
The conclusion, I suggest you to build network as wide as possible. Don’t stick too much to your close friends. It’s better to have one or more close friends, or something they call it best friend, because you still need someone to believe in and who believes in you. Stay out of grouping as hard as you can, because they’ll break in the end. The most important, try to understand other, not to judge them.
I wrote this based on my analysis on myself and my friends and/or my acquitances. This may be very wrong, so don’t believe in this blabbering very much. I just want to.. share my ideas.
Sorry for bad english also.
“And the raven looks into the sky
Silently, spreads its wings
It croaked and cry
But no one hear its sad sing”